Patience and Persistence

 

Having patience today will bring you more comfortably into tomorrow, regardless of the annoyances swirling around you. 

 If we give up too soon, there likely may be "what ifs.." in the future.  What if I had done this or that?  When we do the best we can, even if the outcome is not what we desired, at least we "gave it our best effort" with what we knew or had available to us at the time.

      When I became a mother 35 years ago, the world was emerging from a formula feeding culture.  In the late 1970's, my nursing school curriculum enthusiastically promoted the concept of "breast is best," however, we lacked the ability to actually apply the practice and accurately teach mothers how to make breastfeeding work.  Consequently, we never realized that scheduling breastfeeding sessions to every 4 hours and limiting feeding length to prevent sore nipples, actually set up many women for low milk supply and lactation failure after they left our care in the hospital.  There just were not enough women experienced in breastfeeding to mentor us and teach us how breastfeeding actually worked.  Lactation practice and knowledge had basically gone extinct in the hospital setting in our grandmothers' generation. 

      I worked as a registered nurse in a hospital newborn nursery through the 1980's and delivered my 2nd and 3rd breastfeeding babies during that time.  Many of my nursing colleagues also had babies and returned to work as breastfeeding mothers.  During that era, too many women, when they faced breastfeeding problems that we easily work through today, simply gave up and grabbed the free formula sample from the hospital. 

     My first child, born the weekend of graduation from college and nursing school, presented with significant latch problems.  But I was determined to figure out a way to make breastfeeding work.  I did not yet know that breastfeeding babies needed to be fed every 2 to 3 hours, at least 8 to 12 times a day.  But I did know that my baby wanted to nurse and needed to be fed when she cried.  Although I had been taught as a nurse the policy of every 4 hour feedings, I nursed my baby when she gave her feeding cues.  It is a miracle that I maintained a more than adequate milk supply, in spite of using the thick latex nipple shields (all that was available at that time) to help with latch, for every single feeding for 6 months. 

     It wasn't until my lactation training, after my youngest child was in preschool, that I discovered how unusual my lactation situations had been.  As we taught mothers and assisted them with breastfeeding in the hospital during the decade of the 80's, we really only had our own personal experiences to rely upon.  I personally could maintain a more than sufficient milk supply, regardless of feeding schedules or inadequate breast pumping when I returned to work, following the births of the other two children.  I innocently passed along faulty (by today's standards) information based upon inaccurate and unusual anecdotal experience. 

     I am so glad that I patiently persisted in continuing to breastfeed, in spite of the limited lactation knowledge that we had at that time.  Many of my nursing colleagues also worked through breastfeeding challenges and continued for as long into their babies' first year of life as possible. 

But many mothers of the 70's and 80's just couldn't overcome the breastfeeding challenges which were magnified by our misinformation at that time.  For most of them, there should be no "what ifs", as we simply lacked the lactation management skills that we continue to rediscover today. 

     In 1990, my sister Julie, also a maternal / child RN, and I attended a lactation consultant training program up in Washington state.   In spite of nursing three children for about a year each, I was amazed at the information about lactation that I previously had never been taught before.  I passed the International Board examination and became an International Board Certified Lactation Consultant in 1991 and have maintained my certification ever since.  I have cared for thousands of breastfeeding women and children and continue to update my lactation knowledge and skills. 

    I am grateful that I was invited and able to provide lactation assistance to my daughters and daughter in law for at least one or more of their children.  (When two of the grandchildren were born, my husband and I were serving a church mission for 3 years in Singapore / Malaysia and could not return home).  We patiently dealt with latch and other challenges.  But they moved forward, one day at a time.  They did the best that they could so that they could achieve their goals of breastfeeding for as long as possible.  In the case of my oldest grandson, the goal was to be able to provide breastmilk for as long as possible.  My oldest daughter fed her first baby her expressed breastmilk for about 5 months.  For her at that time, that was achieving success.

    However, years of experience has shown, that of all of the skills a mother possesses, it seems to be her patience that ultimately is the key to her success.  It is her willingness "to give it her best effort," to avoid prematurely "tossing in the towel" and giving up.  Most of the time, it is that tincture of time that will allow us to get over the hurdles we face.  Utilize the best resources of assistance and information available to you at the time and the "what ifs" will not apply to you in the future.